By Lisa Mercer
Many years ago, my favorite aunt, Aunt Ruth, decided to join the expat community and move to San Miguel de Allende in Mexico. Each time she came back to the United States, she intrigued us with stories of her daily life. This 75-year-old woman had two best friends ? two young, gay men who were a couple.? On Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, the three friends watched as another one of their friends drove off. Hilarity ensued.
?Where?s he going?? asked one friend.
?He?s going to the synagogue to blow the shofar,? answered Aunt Ruth.
?Oh, that?s a nice job benefit!? exclaimed the friend.
It was these stories, combined with her tales of life in an expatriate community in Mexico, that made me want to visit. One year when she came to the US to celebrate her birthday, she stood up to make a speech.
?I know some of you might think that I abandoned you when I moved to Mexico,? she said. ?But I have not abandoned you! I have given you a fascinating place to visit and make your lives a little richer.?
I vowed that I would go, but as years passed and Aunt Ruth grew older, I did not do my diligence and come before winter, to paraphrase Saint Paul.? Ruth reached her winter years and, before I knew it, she had gone to the great expat community in the skies.
When Mommy and Daddy Leave Home
Fast forward to 2011 and my husband comes up with this cockamamie idea of moving overseas. We took a two-week relocation research trip and decided that Uruguay was a place where we could be happy. When we returned home, we were overflowing with excitement and anticipation. Our families, not so much. Comments included:
- ?Why do you hate America, Dad??
- ?I know you guys like to reinvent yourselves every decade, but do you have to do it on the other side of the world??
- ?What if you have to miss our weddings, birth of your grandchildren, etc.??
As far? as we know, my stepdaughter is not pregnant, my stepson is not expecting any kids (at least kids that he knows about), and neither of the kids are planning a wedding.
My older brother had an interesting response. At first, he worried about the usual things:
- ?You?ll be so far away.?
- ?What if you get sick??
- ?What if you have to be hospitalized??
Then he channeled Aunt Ruth and said, ?Well, now I?ll have an interesting place to visit on vacation!?
For kids, especially adult kids, it?s a different story. They spend a good portion of their teenage and young adult years trying to claim their independence, then suddenly mommy and daddy are the ones leaving home and they don?t like it.
Let's face it: Many Baby Boomers have a hard time acting their age!
Let?s face it: Many Baby Boomers have a hard time acting their age. But hey, this is what 50 acts like! We travel, we learn, we continue to grow. Unfortunately, recent current events add complexity and misunderstanding to the idea of moving overseas.
We?re Not Renouncing You
When a certain Facebook founder decided to renounce his US citizenship and move overseas, he triggered a politically ambiguous scenario. He allegedly chose to do so in order to avoid paying taxes on his profits. Whether he did or not, this does not mean that every Baby Boomer who decides to embark on an expat adventure is an unpatriotic tax-evader who should be burned at the stake!
In fact, many, like myself and my husband, have not renounced our US citizenship, even though we are applying for permanent residency in Uruguay. It?s these and other misunderstandings that you will want to clear up before you embark on your journey. You also need a game plan, which might include:
- A schedule of trips for family members to visit you and for you to return home to see them.
- A separate, untouchable fund to finance these trips.
- Active Skype accounts, email, social networking, etc.
- Exchange of information about any important legal and medical information your family members might need.
Here?s a great idea: Read Travel for Boomers on a daily basis to keep up with the latest travel deals to your part of the world and share this information with your family members. Saying goodbye is sad, but goodbye need not mean fare thee well. Now go reinvent yourself!
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Let?s hear from readers who have relocated to other parts of the world. Why did you and how has your family responded? Let us know in the Comments section!
Source: http://www.travelforboomers.com/2012/07/12/moving-overseas-separation-anxiety/
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